Consider the pickle.
Do you like pickles? Well that opens up a whole nother set of questions. Which pickle? Sour pickle? Sweet pickle? Dill pickle? Cucumber pickle? Little pickle? Big pickle?
You know, don't you, that there is the "Right Wing Pickle Packer Society" that has evolved into the driving force behind all new pickle ideas. This group was organized in the 1800's to plan, promote, and project Pickles image into the 20th century. It has been and probably always will be a secret society protecting the identity of its members.
The passion of the pickle and it's affect on pickle lovers and haters alike is so volatile that the organization could not survive if it did not maintain anonymity. Can you imagine what would have happened when pickles were first sliced? The uproar from the vertical slicers alone would have crushed the very creative essence from that forward thinking group. Much less the pressure exerted on Congress from the horizontal slicers. I can't even mention the steps taken, and won't utter a peep regarding the dastardly deeds committed by the dicer crowed. But you get my point.
I and I alone know their identity and their where abouts. This information has cost me dearly, however. I haven't slept more than eight hours a night since being made aware of this information. It was conferred on me by the RWPPS when they needed information only I could provide. Why, oh why was I the only one in the world who had that knowledge? Why?
It will go with me to my grave other than to share it with ONE of my children. Which one do I tell? Which one do I condemn to a life of Hell? Which one do I give the secrete of untold riches, but utter disparity? Fame and success that will poison even their best friends opinion of them, but cause them to be sought out by the heads of state of every kingdom in the world. I feel the weight of all time on me but I must make a decision in the next 30 years or so.
I will end this post, leaving you with two thoughts to ponder: If all products had the diversity of the pickle, where would we store it all? AND, have you had one of the New "Vlasic Tabasco Kosher Dill Spears" ?
RWPPS you have scored again!!!
(Picture courtesy of Pickle Hill Public Broadcasting)
8 comments:
Not only was I born first(therefore having broken you in as a dad) but i am the first to comment here - so i think it's obvious i'm the one you tell. So....there's a big cash reward in there somewhere too - right? Go to the pickle jar? Is it some sort of Code?
You will all need to consider very carefully how you treat me over the coming days, weeks, and years. It will determine if your choosen or not and it is so important. Be careful what you wish. Or don't.
Am I cut out of the will now just because I didn't comment on your blog first now? Maybe I just don't want to encourage your pickle fetish.
Oh my gosh, Mason - that is so funny that I think for sure you should get the secret just for being witty - I guess you could say Dad really "relishes" his pickles - ha ha
I am trying really hard to understand this strange post, but I am beginning to think that the whole post is a code that only you and your sweet gherkins can understand. Maybe thats a sign that Whitney is definatly out of the running because she has not commented, and then again she may be in a pickle herself and not able to comment. Nevertheless, I'd say Mason since you named him after a jar. Get it "Mason jar", JAR of pickles...Thats gotta be your sign Bo.
Glenda, you have given me an excellent idea. I wont say what it is at this time, however.
The silent type is pretty persuasive at times. (Ahcooitney!!!)
Hey, you are pretty punny yourself Gindy
This particular blog entry was brought to my attention last night by my very dear father! Maybe that was a hint to take another look at the post? Maybe Dad wanted to peak our interest again? Whatever the case I have to say that my father is one interesting fella! It might have taken me two years to comment, but I don't think it matters. Joce might be the first born and the first one to comment(kiss up). Mason might be witty and share a name with said jar. However, we all know in the big pickle jar called life I am and always will be the number one pickle.
Ps: Dad already let me in on the "secret" so y'all can all stop trying!!!
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